Self-confidence or just arrogant

We live in a society where people go to great lengths to achieve that perfect selfie. Some individuals even make a pretty hefty living off  their looks.

These individuals are normally defined by the attention they receive but when the most significant determinant of self-esteem is only based on a person’s aesthetics, unhealthy patterns will develop.


The selfie-obsessed world we live in walks a fine line between self-confidence and utter narcissism. Countless individuals find gratification from their online profile; so much so, they base their entire self-worth on how many likes, friends or followers they have.

A report that "scientists linked selfies and narcissism" popped up on the web last year, and went viral before it turned out to be a complete hoax. A clinical narcissism isn't that person who takes a dozen selfies and posts them on Instagram. However, someone who really is a narcissist may display some of those qualities. 

Hower, this lifestyle and attitude carry significant emotional risks in the future, as well as often masking a shallow existence and low-self-esteem.

A person with high self-esteem greatly respects him or herself (that’s what “esteem” means). 

How do you consider if a person behaviour is typical, or is there something much more cynical about their personality?.

The following three idiosyncrasies/behavioural patterns are often associated with each other when describing human behaviour. While they frequently overlap and have similarities, how those behaviours are exhibited will inherently define whether they are a pillar of society, a clinical narcissist, or just a jerk.

However, recognising a pathological level of narcissism is no easy task; you do not have to be a narcissist to display some narcissistic qualities.

Those three traits under discussion are: 

  • Narcissism
  • Arrogance
  • Self-confidence
We all strive to develop a healthy self-confidence, you certainly do not want to be labeled a jerk. Therefore, it’s best to understand the difference between the three to achieve that goal. 

Let’s consider the definition of these three terms and compare their attributes:

What Is Narcissism

Narcissism is characterized by the pursuit of ego gratification, vanity, and a sense of superiority, grandiosity, dominance, and entitlement.   Narcissism is part of the ‘dark tetrad’ of personality that also includes Machiavellianism, psychopathy, and sadism.

Individuals on the spectrum for Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) are manipulative folks who are only out for personal gain.

They view themselves with grandiosity and have a difficult time showing real empathy for others. However, they can put on a display of sympathy if they feel it will benefit themselves.

Unfortunately, those with NPD are emotionally abusive to the people in their lives. So much so, researchers align their personality symptoms with those on the spectrum for a psychopathy disorder. Therefore, it goes far beyond taking selfies and accruing likes.

What Is Arrogance

We probable know arrogant people in our lives, and we may also throw around the word "narcissistic" when referring to them. However, there is typically a significant difference between arrogance and narcissism, and it's worth acknowledging.

Narcissists are also arrogant when it comes to their skill level, but to a dysfunctional degree    Arrogance is defined as thinking you are better or more qualified than those around you.

It’s a grandiose sense of self that goes far beyond self-confidence. Arrogant individuals have a hard time making and keeping friends because they often rub up others the wrong way.

Perversely, this arrogance very often stems from a lack of self-belief, and the behaviour is expressed as a way to hide this from others.

Most of the time, arrogance can indicate an excessive need for self-importance and wanting to be the center of attention. In its extreme form, it can turn into narcissism.

Identifying someone who is arrogant and self-centred is pretty straightforward. The guy at work who makes themselves the center of every conversation, or the guy who gets into a car accident and is more worried about his car than his passenger.

What Is Self-Confidence

Confidence comes from a Latin word fidere' which means "to trust"; therefore, having self-confidence is having trust in one's self

Having a healthy self-confidence means believing that you can accomplish anything while remaining humble, or not feeling driven to display how clever you are. Balancing the two is a big part of being an emotionally well-rounded individual.

Also, those with a healthy sense of self-confidence have no problem with uplifting others. They don’t view other people as competition. Instead, they applaud others when they see them succeed.

They understand that someone else’s gains do not take away from theirs. This is what differentiates self-confidence from the other personality traits discussed.

The underlying root of arrogance and narcissism is insecurity. People with these traits feel as if they have to make themselves appear more substantial to compensate for deeply ingrained insecurities. This is also why they tend to exhibit negative emotions or cruel behavioural patterns.

It should be obvious at this stage, which characteristic you would like to improve and develop. 

A point to remember:

The primary fault with narcissists or arrogant people is they feel they must be right all the time or there’s something wrong with them.

Narcissism is when love for yourself comes before everything else in life.

Arrogance is the illusion that you are infallible or untouchable

Confidence is strictly believing in yourself and your abilities.

How to Develop Self-Confidence

It was the Greek philosopher Aristotle who first wrote about traits (dispositions) such as being brave, or modest.

One of the best ways to develop a healthy sense of self-confidence is to focus on your positive qualities.

The Aristotelian principle, which concentrates on positive experiences, character, and virtues, has served as a basis for positive psychology today.

Practice daily affirmations that highlight what you love about yourself. Doing so will make you see your worth in a healthy sense.

Do not base your self-worth on the opinions of others because it is detrimental to building your own confidence. Instead of worrying about what others may think about your choices, focus on how you feel about them.

If you enjoy wearing certain clothes, engaging in certain activities or making individual choices, that is all that matters.

Put these actions into practice, and you will begin to see your self-confidence rise. Understand that you are stronger than you think while maintaining a balanced sense of others.

Too little confidence can prevent people from taking risks and seizing opportunities—in school, at work, or in their social life.

Too much confidence can come off as cockiness, arrogance, or narcissism.

I hope this information will help you remain kind to others, while still loving yourself wholeheartedly.


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